i’ll never grow old, if i never grow.
i tell myself i won’t catch feelings. i tell myself, she’s fine…but, let’s get real. she is fine.
so where does that leave me? after a night out pretending i’m great without her, i end up at the foot of her bed again. sleeping at the altar of self-delusion. it’s just SEX, right? don’t let it get you down..
fast forward - it’s early summer. there’s a party. i’m invited (obviously). it’s in.. MALIBU. gross. well, not gross. malibu is beautiful. but it’s sooo far away, and the traffic - ugh. i don’t wanna! ..but she’ll be there.
ok ok, fine.. i can make an exception, but she doesn’t have to know why.
she’s looking out over the pacific. time for small talk: “how ‘bout that drive, huh?”
she’s not impressed.
my bravado wanes and as i look at my sand-covered Converse i add: “it’s really nice to see you.. it’s been too long.”
she smiles.
six months - six good months pass. i got out of my own way (for a moment, anyway) and told her how i felt. woah.. she felt the same.
everything is looking up. we stay out too late together. we overspend on drinks and dinner. we love the same music (Interpol and The Divine Fits). she spends a bit too much time on her phone, but that’s alright. i’m HYPNOTIZED.
more time passes. we have ups, we have downs (some moments in between), but i feel good. i mean.. i’m not sleeping well, but i feel pretty good. sure, sometimes i mask my feelings, but that’s nothing new. i can’t let her down, so i tell her:
“i’m in love with you. i just wish i could love myself LIKE YOU do.”
i know that you want it, but you just can't have it
and i know that you need it, 'cause you never quit asking
i know you won't believe me, but i gotta get you outta my bed
'cause i gotta get you outta my head
oh no, another night out and another passed out on your floor
i'll never grow old, if i never grow
and it's only sex, don't let it get you down
well i want out
i know that you want it, but you just can't have it
and i know that you need it, 'cause you never quit asking
i know you won't believe me, but i gotta get you outta my bed
'cause i gotta get you outta my head
oh no, it's cold under the covers so i call my little lover, i want more
i'll never get out while i'm letting you in
well it's only sex, don't let it get you down
i need you now
i know that you want it, but you just can't have it
and i know that you need it, 'cause you never quit asking
i know you won't believe me, but i gotta get you outta my bed
'cause i gotta get you outta my head
oh no, i just gotta get you outta my head
ha ho, i just gotta get you outta my head
you're my malibu
everybody's trying to get to you
she says her spirit's "free and light"
but she's heavy on my mind
i'm still down to kill some time
i got her song stuck in my head
kinda wish that i was dead
every time she kills my vibe
i got your name in my mouth
your head's in the clouds and your face in the couch
coulda beat rush hour
but it's too late now
you're my malibu
everybody's trying to get to you
you know it's such a pretty drive
gotta ditch the city lights
baby your my malibu
she's been staring in my dreams
burning down the silver screen
tinsel town's been bitter sweet
she lit a fire in my brain
made a mess up in my place
never stay there anyway
well i'm half in the bag
i could chill for a bit then i gotta call a cab
but the beach ain't bad
and your bed's pretty big
you're my malibu
everybody's trying to get to you
you know it's such a pretty drive
gotta ditch the city lights
baby your my malibu
i could hop on a flight
land in the morning and i stay for the night
i'm just here to waste time
so i'm thinking i might
you're my malibu
everybody's trying to get to you
you know it's such a pretty drive
gotta ditch the city lights
baby your my malibu
your my malibu
everybody's trying to get to you
you know it's such a pretty drive
gotta ditch the city lights
baby your my malibu
aww whatever man
whoo
listen to me close and i'll try giving you hints about
if you put down your phone, i will write another song about you
when i close my eyes, your face has a glow in my mind
i don't wanna talk, just get lost inside my head about it
got me in your claws, but you know that i ain't mad about it
take me to a place where i can be at peace for a while
would that not be nice? a love to admire
'cause you've got me hypnotized
haunt me again tonight, oh oh
you've got me hypnotized
you might have me cursed, but i like it when you're mean to me
you may not be the first, but i'm thinking this could last at least
you take me to a place where i can be at peace for a while
if we both play nice, at least we could try
cause you've got me hypnotized
haunt me again tonight
you know that i toe the line
between love and regret, but i don't hate you yet
you've got me hypnotized
hypnotized, hypnotized, you've got me hypnotized
cause you've got me hypnotized
haunt me again tonight
you know that i toe the line
between love and regret, but i don't hate you yet
you've got me hypnotized
you've got me hypnotized
do-do-do-do-do like you do, do-do-do-do like you do, do-do-do-do like you do, you do, you do
mask my feelings, yeah, that's nothing new
i hide away from you like i always do
magic powders disappear from view to feel brand new
but that's not the truth
i can't let you down
so i'll figure out
how to love myself like you
do-do-do-do-do like you do, do-do-do-do like you do, do-do-do-do like you do, you do, you do
wide awake, i sift through catalogs
blurred with alcohol 'til i forget my faults
kid, let go of what you're running from
there are days to come, just enjoy the sun
i can't let you down
so i'll figure out
how to love myself like you
i can't get you from off my mind
i think about it all the time
how every day's been better since i met you
i can't get you from off my mind
i think about it all the time
i wish i could love myself like you do, like you do
i can't let you down
so i'll figure out
how to love myself like you
do-do-do-do-do like you do, do-do-do-do like you do, do-do-do-do like you do, you do, you do
do-do-do-do-do like you do, do-do-do-do like you do, do-do-do-do like you do, you do, you do
MUSIC VIDEO
LIVE FROM MY APARTMENT